People keep finding my site by googling "Hillary Duff's Teeth" and "Girl Boob." Man I really need to find other things to talk about.

I'm trying really, really hard not to write about how bored I am, because I know how interesting it is to read about someone else's boredom. Things are looking up though. Tonight I am going to the Miracle of Science in Cambridge. Should be filled with tons of smarties from MIT and as we all know exciting things always seem to happen whenever I venture into Cambridge.

Also, I went to see Wilco last Friday. It was fun, except that Jeff Tweedy totally hated the audience. I haven't seen that much audience hating since, well never. He yelled at us for getting beers during his sad, painful, I've had my heart broken songs, and then again for not singing along. There was no love from JT.

On a related note, I hated the guy and girl standing next me at the concert. Their crimes? Failure to keep out of my personal bubble, excessive drunkeness, and mistaking my dirty looks for looks of lust. Yes, that's right. When I looked over at them to give them a I-hate-you-because-you-have-two-feet-of-space-on-the-other-side-of-you-why-do-you-keep
-invading-my-personal-space-look, I heard the girl shout to the guy "That girl is totally checking you out!" Apparently she interpreted the flames of hatred shooting out of my eyes as flames of desire. This was then followed by an "accidentally" bump into me by the guy. Ew.

...And speaking of bad pick-up attempts, I was walking down the street the other day I was greeted with "Hello, I am from France and you are very beautiful." Needless to say, my reaction was "You're from France! Let's go make babies!" I love/hate encounters like these. I also hate to be objectified, but it was always nice to know that I still have it going on. Plus, I now know that the Frenchies love me.

Craziest Thing I've Heard All Week

I got an email yesterday from one of my friends who is living as an illegal alien in Italy. That's not the crazy part, I already knew that one. Apparently she got caught and is now hiding out in a shack in the Tuscan countryside. Daring! Wild! Crazy! Something I would never do! Sorry folks, but I like to remain legit.

Hiding Out
Originally uploaded by Sunday Girl.


In my search for images in connection with this story I came across the poster for "Hiding Out." Let's just all pause for a moment and think about how great Jon Cryer was as a New York stock broker hiding from the mob at a suburban high school. Granted the craddle robbing love story is a little creepy, but it's Jon Cryer! It's Morgan Stewart! It's Ducky! Who doesn't love Ducky?

He's Just Not That Into You Because He's Dead

Or at least that's the way I like to look at things. Instead of thinking that he was not interested in the fabulousness that is Sunday Girl, he died and was not able to call. The best part of thinking of things in these terms is that you can come up with all sorts or horrible ways that he died. He might have, for instance, been eaten by mimes. Doesn't that bring up a great image. Imagine said hypothetical boy who is unable to use a phone being chased by a group of rabid mimes brandishing imaginary forks. Or perhaps he was attacked by monkeys drunk on power and beer. You don't want to mess with drunken power monkeys, trust me people.

See, it's not that he is not that into me. He's dead. It's so very tragic. I'm sure his dying words were, "But I have to call Sunday Girl..."

I saw this written on a stop sign the other day: "Kim Stewart is a loser." I couldn't agree more stop sign, I couldn't agree more.

heatherette01
Originally uploaded by Sunday Girl.

Loser

I'm Kookoo for Coco Rocks!

Apparently Kelloggs "accidentally" named a cereal after street slang for crack. "Coco Rocks" is not only a cereal that "contains rock-shaped pillows filled with chocolate," but it is also the term for "brown crack made by adding chocolate pud." Um, ew on both counts. A spokesperson for a Charity Durgscope questioned why Kelloggs doesn't have people checking the names of their cereals. Yes, because my first thought when I name a cereal is to make sure that I didn't inadvertently name it after crack.

Read the full story here.

This Is Not A Recap

I'm sorry All My Children, but this is not a recap:

"Di defends herself to Tad and JR when they think she betrayed them. David warns Krystal not to expose his scheme. Kendall convinces Greenlee that Ryan has entered a very dark and dangerous world. Greenlee finds Ryan and is sickened by what she sees. Jamie and Babe are secure in their relationship. Aidan is impressed by Amanda."

That is a series of vague statements that do not even begin to tell what is actually happening on the show. Yes, it's very nice to know that Jamie and Babe are secure in their relationship, but why that is important I will never know. Thankfully Molly was able to tell that me that Ryan has joined a fight club. Damn! It's times like these that I wish I had a tv at my desk

Lesson Of the Day

Art exhibit involving mirrors on the floor + girls in mini-skirts = no mystery what-so-ever

Sorority of Sin

Back in the day I was in a Sorority. Yes, that right I was a sorority girl a.k.a. So-Ho, Sor-Whore, or Sorostitute (my personal favorite). I had kind of a love/hate thing going with my sorority girl status. I really didn't want to be one, but I still really enjoyed it at the same time. The best thing about being in a sorority? The gossip. Hands down. Nothing will ever equal the gossiping opportunities that there are in a sorority. Whether it was Girl A getting an STD from Girl B's boyfriend or Girl T pushing Girl H through a door or Girl M auditioning to be a stripper after she slept with her drug dealer for coke. There was never a end of things to talk about. It was like having a 24 hour reality show in your own home only better because you knew everyone personally.

Nowadays there is very little gossip in my life. Sadly, growing up and getting a real job and only going out once a week has really slowed the gossip train. I've tried to satisfy the urge with celebrity gossip and the Real World, but it just won't do. Once you've seen someone collapse in front of a room full of girls watching the 2000 presidential election results after she has found out that another girl was sleeping with her ex-boyfriend, nothing else will do. Those were the days. *Sigh*

As if I wasn't having enough of a quarter-life crisis already

I really hate it when 13 year-olds show me up.

I want blueberry pancakes with a slice of blueberry pie

Coolest celebrity comparison that I've ever had occured last weekend when someone compared me to Fabienne a.k.a. Bruce Willis' wife in Pulp Fiction. Awesome! I usually get a lot of Scully comparisons, which is also ok by me. I've spent a lot of time since then asking, "Who's motorcycle is this?" Followed by, "Who's chopper is this?" I couldn't find a picture from Pulp Fiction, so this one of Maria de Mederios from The Saddest Music in the World will have to do.

saddes
Originally uploaded by Sunday Girl.

3624
Originally uploaded by Sunday Girl.

It's me!


Are you a character from Pulp Fiction?

Places to see

Hopfully filled with people to do. Bars that I want to check out, but haven't yet.

1. The Tikki Room
2. The B-Side Lounge
3. The Midway Cafe, but only for Queeraroke night

A Song To Make Friday Go Faster

"Virginia" - The Super Eights

They are an amazing couple, really and truly amazing

Ok, so I've been rethinking my whole position on the whole Tom and Katie (or TomKat, as I heard them called on Entertainment Tonight the other) and I think I'm all for it. After all I did offer my services as a shill on Monday and I think it would be hypocritical of me to condemn what is so obviously true love. Am I such a horrible, dried-up, crusty bitch that I can't believe that a love between the press agents of two mega-stars is real? The answer is a resounding no. I believe this is a match made in publicity heaven. It doesn't get any better than this folks. And really what could be more romantic than sealing the marketing deal at the top of the Eiffel Tower. I went to the top of Eiffel Tower once and I also was able to come up with a stellar public relation plan. It involved monkeys and beer. Other than the TomKat union, I don't think it can get better than that.

On a completely unrelated note, because I totally do believe that what Tom and Katie have is as real as Hilary Duff's teeth, I'm also putting down Beard down on my resume from now on. It looks something like this:

Special Skills: FilemakerPro, Excel, Powerpoint, Shilling, Bearding, and Go-Go Dancing

Or if you prefer here is my ad:

Shill will Act as Beard
Are you hiding something from everyone in your life and are also experiencing low self esteem? Then consider adding a shill/beard to your payroll. Not only will she make you feel great about yourself, but she'll also make everyone think that you are as straight as the day is long. That's right, she will fawn over you at parties and even stage little lovers spats when you don't pay enough attention to her. For a small fee you too can fool the world into thinking that you are into chicks as much as Pauly Shore is. Oh wait, that's kind of a bad example. Um, never mind. Call now! Don't delay! Prove to everyone that you're not gay!

I expect this kind of behaviour from the Fung Wah...

Signs that your Greyhound Bus Driver to New York is Drunk:

1. They almost get into 3 accidents before leaving Boston
2. They stop at a stoplight in Manhattan and take to the opprotunity to run to the bathroom.
3. They make this announcement "Folksh, thanksh fur coming on the Greyhound bussh. Be surh to take your belonginseh. I hope you had a good time. I had a good time. You're all such nice folksh. Nice folksh. You all are such nice folksh."
4. The driver's seat is littered with the tiny liquor bottles that you find on airplanes.

I've Kept My Silence Long Enough

I'm sorry but this has got to stop.

Where Did Kevin Go?

This is the most random website, but I giggle every time I'm on it.

There are certain times when I have too much time on my hands at work. During these times I often take to organizing and cleaning everything in the office. One of my favorite things to clean, my keyboard. Yes, I have just spent the past 20 minutes cleaning my keyboard. It is a very complex process involving a little brush, a canister of compressed air, and clorox wipes.

You see when I have time on my hands I begin to look down at my keyboard and I can see all the little crumbs and dust particles trapped underneath all the keys. Then it starts to gross me out because I begin to think of all the viruses and bacteria that might be hiding under there. And I have to clean it. There is no choice. I take off all the keys and thoroughly clean every nook and cranny I can get my hands on. I would completely disassemble my entire keyboard if I was confident enough to think I could put it back together again.

Now I'm not obessive compulsive or anything. I swear. I just pay attention to detail. I'm detail oriented. How do you think I got this job. Oh yeah, my looks, I forgot.

keyboard
Originally uploaded by Sunday Girl.

Come on Mom! Just five more minutes...

"Michelle, your twenty minutes are up." This is what ended my phone conversation with Michelle last night. No, she is not in jail and did not have only one phone call. Something far worse... she has moved back in with her parents. Dun dun dun! Yes, it was like being in high school again when you realize that you cannot gossip on the phone for hours on end. Unfortunately, Michelle and I weren't able to meet up at our lockers this morning and finish our talk about sitting next to Mike Gregory in Advanced Comp, nor are we able to hang out in the cafeteria and drink diet cokes during lunch, or sneak away to the library during study hall. Why? Because we are adults in our twenties. So sad. Michelle's situation is only temporary and we will soon be able to have marathon phone coversations once again. In the mean time I've made these stickers for her.

tenstickers-1
Originally uploaded by Sunday Girl.


Also, this is totally going to be the name of my rock band, either that or Sarah Conner. Can you imagine the t-shirts that say "I am Sarah Conner." Fabulous, no?

Stand Up For What You Believe In

macds
Originally uploaded by Sunday Girl.

Even if what you believe in is that your McDonalds doesn't close for renovation and tenure for the McRib, of course.

Home Taping is Killing the Music Industry

images
Originally uploaded by Sunday Girl.

I love mix tapes! As long as I live I will never stop loving them, ever since my first feeble attempts to record Madonna and Mariah Carey off the radio and inevitably getting a whole bunch of annoying announcers in the mix. To the perfection of my skills in high school because I was so sick of listening to the crap they played on the radio and so I would have a constant stream of good music playing in my car (this was of course once I had a car with a tape deck and not an 8-track). I still make mixes from time to time, but only when I'm inspired (God, I can be pretentious sometimes).

I believe that, like Religion, mix tapes are very personal things. When you listen to one you hear something completely different from anyone else. I often feel pained when someone is listening to one of my mixes and they skip over a song. Those two songs are supposed to be next to one another. I put them together for a reason. If you skip over it, you will lose the effect entirely. Oh well, they will never understand my mix tapes.

Huh. Maybe there is a reason why Qwark always calls me the female version of Rob Gordon. Anyway, the whole point of this is to tell you to check out a cool NPR article, which every misunderstood tape mixer should read. Enjoy.

My Current Mix Tape:

"Stars and Sons" Broken Social Scence
"Quizas, Quizas, Quizas" Nat King Cole
"Seeing Other People" Belle and Sebastian
"Slow Hands" Interpol
"(I'm Always Touched By Your) Presence Dear" Blondie
"Reduced to One" Eyes Like Knives
"I'll Be Your Mirror" Velvet Underground
"Rebellion (Lies)" Arcade Fire
"My Eyes Are Green" Erykah Badu
"This Charming Man" The Smiths
"I'm Leaving It All Up To You" La Vern Baker and Ben E. King
"Wild Horses" The Rolling Stones
"Brass In Pocket" The Pretenders
"Somewhere In Texas" The Ravonettes
"Someday We'll Be Together" The Supremes
"Season of the Witch" Donovan
"Just Like Heaven" The Cure

Also, I'm kind of obsessed with Arcade Fire right now and not just because their album is the exact length of my commute.

Good Times, Good Times...

It is always important to learn new things and I am constantly learning. This past weekend in New York added a few more things to the list:

1. The reason why Lisa and I never have pictures from out vacations and visits is because we always feel stupid taking them.

Me: Stand over there and I'll take your picture.
Lisa: No, you stand over there and I'll take your picture.
Me: No, I'll take your picture.
Lisa: No, you.
Me: No, you.
Lisa: No, I'll feel stupid.
Me: So will I.
Lisa: Then I guess we won't take any pictures then.

2. South Africans [heart] Robbie Williams.

3. How the internet works.

4. A new favorite photographer.

5. Why you shouldn't hold open subway doors.

6. That Bonzo hates it when I say anything and hisses at me to let me know.

7. All my friend's boyfriends, for whatever selfish reasons, want to see me happily settled down. They are like yentas the whole lot of them.

8. I still have the ability to make a kick ass mix tape.

Busted!

So I have a couple new readers (Hi guys!) and I totally got busted for trying to be funny, but sounding more like a cynical ass. I'm sorry if I offended you Jared. I'd like to take this moment to say that was the best use of a wet suit that I have ever seen. Also, the members of Free Love Forum are my heros, not to mention hilarious. And no I am not a shill. Although I am offering my services for a small fee if anyone is interested. Come on! I have a readership of ones! Maybe with the addition of Jared I can reach up into the double digits! One can always dream.

Foot In Mouth Moment of the Day

"I got Naked!" Said to one of my male co-workers and referring to the book by David Sedaris and not the actual removal of my clothes. Unfortunately my co-worker didn't realize this until the situation was already too uncomfortable for words. Add to the fact that we were in the elevator at the time and you see why I might have a sexual harassment suit on my hands.

"She Did It the Hard Way"

Yes, I read, although my lack of proofreading and poor grammar skills would prove otherwise. Currently I'm reading Bette Davis' autobiography "The Lonely Life." A great litte find from the Brookline Booksmith used book section. Bette Davis: fascinating actress, not so much a fascinating writer. I do enjoy her description of politics during the studio era (a film geek to the end), but she often spends much of her time name dropping and digressing. I have to say though that she does come across a pretty cool lady despite her inability to move a story along (she was married four times, I'm two thirds into the book and we're still on marriage number one). I also enjoy that most of her stories involve yelling at Jack Warner (Ha! Film geek again ). And as far as role models go, you do a lot worse than Bette Davis mister!

So Let's Review:
Enjoy: Studio Era Politics, yelling at Jack Warner, good role model
Do Not Enjoy: name dropping (seriously, some pages are just lists of names), slow storytelling (it's like she was giving writing tips the Lost screenwriters or something)

Overall: B-

Beauty is Pain

Yes, it's true, I get my brows waxed. What? I have to, otherwise it looks like I'm wearing the Grouch Marx glasses, without the glasses or the large nose or Peter Gallagher's unfortunate looking twin sister... I digress. So I have found a very skilled waxer in the Boston area close to work and not too expensive. The problem? Well, you see, she's kind of mean. I go in with furry brows and come out with a bruised ego. My first encounter with her, she yelled at me for not drinking enough water and having dry skin. Then she yelled at me to make sure I wouldn't touch her beautiful job. Last time she yelled at me for waiting too long in bettween appointments. The meeting went something like this.

Waxer: (In some foreign accent, which I don't know the origins of) Have you been to me before?
Me: Yes...
Waxer: When was the last time you saw me?
Me: Uh... about two and a half months ago.
Waxer: Ok, makes sense.
Me: ?!
Waxer: That was too long. One and a half months! One and a half months!

This phrase was repeated throughout the visit along with "It wouldn't hurt so much if you came in more often." Man she's mean, but she does great work.

Sunday Girl's Weekend Picks

For Laughs:
If you are in New York this weekend check out Sketch Fest. I can't promise it will be funny, but if you want to check out some of the performers go right ahead.

For Cute Bartenders:
Actually only one cute bartender, but he's a flirt! Otherwise there is no reason to go to this bar.

For Hanging Out in Your PJs and Eating Ben and Jerry's:
It you haven't seen this yet you are missing out. Watch it for Maggie Cheung's wardrobe, if for nothing else. If you aren't feeling the foreign film thing then check out hottie Paul Newman in this. Watch it for his six pack, if for nothing else.

For A Boost in Confidence:
Or a chance to get molested.

For Michelle Who is in Madison:
Go see these guys! There is a very good chance that you will see most of my crushes from last year.

How Many Cups Did You Have?

Thanks to the Jimmy Fund I was able to pay seven bucks to eat my weight in ice cream today. The annual event is seen by many in Boston to be the beginning of summer, I see it as the beginning of being the Fattest State in the Union. They say potato, I say fatties.

How To Avoid the Creepy Guy In Your Apartment Building

Step 1: When he asks you if you are single, by all means say no! Say that you have a huge body building boyfriend who is extremely jealous and will kick the ass of any man that even looks at you.

Step 2: If you are in the hallway of your building and hear a door opening somewhere immediately go back into your apartment.

Step 3: If he knocks on your door DO NOT ANSWER! It doesn't matter if you have your TV on or the radio or where in middle of a loud conversation when he knocked and it is completely obvious that you are home, just do not answer!

Step 4: In the event that you see him on the street immediately pick up your cell phone and pretend to be on the phone. Give the minimal amount of acknowledgement if you feel you must, otherwise none at all.

Step 5: Discuss said creepy guy with other women in your building and find out other tricks to avoid him. Eventually you will all be able to aid each other in the Effort to Avoid Creepy (EAC).

Step 6: Begin doing your laundry during odd hours so as not to find Creepy going through your clothes when the dryer is done.

Step 7: Do not sunbathe in the back of the building where Creepy's windows face unless you want him to watch you non-stop for 2 hours. Ew.

Step 8: If none of these steps work, move to a Creepy-free building several miles from your current one to avoid all contact with Creepy.

Yeah, so if you can't tell there is one creepy dude who lives in my apartment building. Not all of the above instances have happened to me personally, but I know enough to know that I should avoid Creepy at all costs. Just one look and you can tell his is totally ick. It's making my skin crawl just thinking about it.

A Brand New Reason to Procrastinate

The reason I haven't gotten anything done today.

USA Air Guitar Championship: A Tally

Dumb Ass Judges: 3
Mullets: 1
Mirrored Sunglasses: 2
Capes: 1
Stage Dives Either Intentional or Unintentional: 3
People Banned from Harpers Ferry for Life: 3
Guys Dressed as Members of Lover Boy: 1
Beers Drunk: 4
Costume Changes: 1, by only 1 person
Slayer Songs Played: 1
Lectures Made on the Virtues of Slayer: At Least 5
Cute Bartenders Who Remembered My Drink: 1

Productive Weekend

It turns out I can actually be productive and not spend 5 hours on my couch watching Gilmore Girls, will wonders never cease.

Things I did the weekend:
1. made two shirts, although they both have some issues...
2. found an apartment for next year in a wicked location
3. sucessfully turned a failed date with a rockstar into a casual friendship
4. attended the USA Air Guitar Championship, which was every bit as silly as you think it would be
5. got as close as this to winning a free game in the Lord of the Rings pinball game
6. entertained as house full of guests, ok it was only two people, but in my tiny apartment that is a house full

Pet Peeves

So we already know that one of my pet peeves is people leaning against subway poles (a subject which David Sedaris delves into in "Me Talk Pretty One Day"), but what are some other things I hate, you might ask? Well for starters any sort of comment on what I am eating. Ok I take that back, if something looks good you can let me know or if you are not sure what something is, that's cool too. However, if you just want to point out to me what I am consuming, don't. I hate that. I hate it when people walk by me and look down at my plate and say, "Ravioli." or "Oatmeal." or god forbid "Hamburger." Yes, that is what I'm eating and I knew that before you pointed that out to me.

What I really hate though is when people feel they need to not only tell you what you are eating, but what they feel about that. Take this morning for example. I was eating cereal with soy milk and someone said to me, "How can you be from Wisconsin and drink soy milk." Now this is a moment where I not only have to defend my taste buds, but also my home state. Lots of people in Wisconsin drink soy milk and lots of people drink whole milk. It's all ok. Then said person went on to tell me how much he hates soy milk and in my head I proceeded to think about how annoyed I was.

Seriously folks, pet peeve. Don't talk about what I eat, unless you want a bite and I will be happy to oblige.

Watching Star Wars in Kansas, a Drama in 3 Acts

Adapted from a Red story by Sunday Girl

ACT 1
Narrator: Here we find Red and her husband TQ attempting to watch the film "Revenge of the Sith." Unfortunately, Red and TQ have chosen to sit in front of some rather rude patrons. Two gentlemen with their young children are making it quite difficult to enjoy the exploits Master Obi Won and his young protege Anakin Skywalker. Let's see how they are doing.

Child 1: (at full volume, with a thick Kansas twang) Dad where's my hot dog?

Father 1: (also at full volume, with a thick Kansas twang) It's in my pocket.

[popcorn munching noises]

Father 2: (chorltles) Huh-huh. R2-D2, huh.

Father 1: That R2-D2 is sure funny. Huh-huh.

Father 2: Huh-huh

[Child 2 is now seen holding the popcorn bag above his head to get the last dregs of kernels from the bottom of the bag]

Child 2: Pa, where do I put my popcorn. I'm done with the bag.

Father 2: Just put it down.

[Crunching noises as Child 2 squishes the popcorn bag. Red looks back annoyed at the rude movie goers.]

ACT II
Narrator: Now we can see that this is not going to be a fun experince for any seasoned film buffs. With a show like this how can anyone watch the movie? As we can see some are not so interested in the love between Anakin and Padme as they are of others in the audience.

[Child 1 and Child 2 are shown separated by their fathers and getting bored with the film]

Child 2: (leaning over the seats, still speaking at full volume) How's it going?

Child 1: I'm all right. Are you enjoying the movie?

Father 1: (You betcha it's at full volume) Dakota. Watch the movie.

ACT III
Narrator: Now we can see that Red and TQ are at the height of annoyance, but just when you think things are at their worst, fate always seems to have one more twist to throw at you.

[A cell phone rings playing the circus song]

Father 2: (do I even have to mention this is at full volume) Hello. I'm at the movies. Star Wars. Yeah. Yep. I'll be getting that part tomorrow. Yeah. I'll get to it tomorrow. You take care now. Bye.

[At this point Red and TQ have gone beyond the boiling point. Red spots two empty seats far away from the yakking yokels.]

Red: TQ, there are two seats we need to move now.

[They move]

Fin.