How To Avoid the Creepy Guy In Your Apartment Building

Step 1: When he asks you if you are single, by all means say no! Say that you have a huge body building boyfriend who is extremely jealous and will kick the ass of any man that even looks at you.

Step 2: If you are in the hallway of your building and hear a door opening somewhere immediately go back into your apartment.

Step 3: If he knocks on your door DO NOT ANSWER! It doesn't matter if you have your TV on or the radio or where in middle of a loud conversation when he knocked and it is completely obvious that you are home, just do not answer!

Step 4: In the event that you see him on the street immediately pick up your cell phone and pretend to be on the phone. Give the minimal amount of acknowledgement if you feel you must, otherwise none at all.

Step 5: Discuss said creepy guy with other women in your building and find out other tricks to avoid him. Eventually you will all be able to aid each other in the Effort to Avoid Creepy (EAC).

Step 6: Begin doing your laundry during odd hours so as not to find Creepy going through your clothes when the dryer is done.

Step 7: Do not sunbathe in the back of the building where Creepy's windows face unless you want him to watch you non-stop for 2 hours. Ew.

Step 8: If none of these steps work, move to a Creepy-free building several miles from your current one to avoid all contact with Creepy.

Yeah, so if you can't tell there is one creepy dude who lives in my apartment building. Not all of the above instances have happened to me personally, but I know enough to know that I should avoid Creepy at all costs. Just one look and you can tell his is totally ick. It's making my skin crawl just thinking about it.