How do you know when your friend is wasted?

When they send you an email that looks like this:

Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly,Shelly,Shelly, Shelly
Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly,
Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly,
Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly,
Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly

Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello

The email went on to detail how my friend had spent the last fourteen hours at a barbeque eating and drinking, but mostly drinking. I would have been eating and drinking at the barbeque as well, if I didn't have to travel a thousand miles to get there.