Older and Wiser

So I've learned some things in the past week that I would like to share with you. Listen. You're the one actually still reading, so its your own fault if you don't like it.

1. Never date a boy in a band.

Yes, band guys are hot. Yes, they have nice forearms (ok, I have weird thing about forearms). Yes, they have great taste in music. Yes, they get free drinks when they play a venue. In the end though, they are just dudes like any other dude. The whole Rock Guy=Gods myth, is just that A MYTH. The worst part is once you are done dating you can never go to one of their shows ever again without looking like a stalker. It sucks, but only if their band is actually pretty good.

2. Don't try using a fake at the liquor store by my apartment

This really isn't something I have to worry about, but underagers take note. I happened upon a very distraught young man when I got off the T on Monday shouting (yes, shouting and at the top of his lungs no less) into his cell phone that his id got denied. I have no idea why he was shouting so loud, but I was worried that he might take some drastic measures and throw self into oncoming traffic. Oh wait, that's what I had hoped would happen.

3. Do not lean against the vertical poles on the T during rush hour

Again, not one that I have to worry about, but there are some commuters out there who are not as thoughtful as I am. Seriously kids, grab on, stand back, and let others get a piece of the pole. I like to T-Surf as much as the next guy, but not as much as I like not having to worry about weather or not I'm going to land in the lap of the little old woman and her groceries. Also, some of us aren't that tall and do not have the arm span to hold onto the bars above the seats. Okay, enough of me on my soap box.

One quick shout out though to the ballsy woman who called out the pole hogger. You are my new commuting idol. And yes, I have already copyrighted the idea for that reality show.

4. Britney is really not that interesting and has pretty bad skin.

Did anyone else watch Britney and Kevin: Chaotic? I did. One hour of my life just plain gone forever. Seriously UPN, I know that you are still a young network, but I feel kind of offended that you put that show in Veronica Mars' timeslot. And Britney, please do not ever put a camera in my face and ask me what my favorite position is unless you want Mountain Dew poured all over your extensions.