Why can't we be friends?

Analyzing a potential friendship with Michelle on the phone last night produced these memorable quotes:

"We need to take our friendship to the friendship level."

"Would it be weird to just go up to him and say 'I think we should be friends, and I don't mean that in a romantic way.' I mean we could just hang out and go to a movie or out for drinks. I need drinking buddies." (Saying that out loud proved how creepy it would sound to the receiving party.)

"I really just want to be friends with him because I think he might have cute friends."