Playing with Gmail's mind*

Ladies and Gentlemen for your enjoyment, an email conversation:

To: JG
From: Sunday Girl
Re: The Super Eights

How sad and depressed am I that I am going to miss the super eights show this weekend. You better go in my stead and tell me everything. I don't even have my record player here, so I can't listen to their songs. Sadness!

-Sunday

To: Sunday Girl
From: JG
Re: re: The Super Eights

I saw that...it's a potentially bogus reformation of the group though,
not the original Super Eights!

I would also like to point out that the way g-mail works is it searches
the text of an email and tries to provide relevant advertisements off
to the side. I like that when you sent me an email, it gave me
listings for help with my troubled teen. Is everything
alright? Do you need to talk to someone?

-JG

To: JG
From: Sunday Girl
Re: re: re: The Super Eights

In the email it said that they have a new keyboardist. Damn, I think I should just come home this weekend so I can see them. I'm going to check flights right now. So now do you have a bunch of advertisements for Orbitz? Oh yeah, I do need help desperately. I am a very troubled teen. I only wear black and read tons of Slyvia Plath while I think about how unfair life is and how I wish I was popular.

-Sunday

To: Sunday Girl
From: JG
Re: re: re: re: The Super Eights

A nice mix...

To: JG
From: Sunday Girl
Re: re: re: re: re: The Super Eights

See now this is getting fun. What if I just start talking about one-eyed purple people eaters, bed wetting, dynamite, obscure 70's tv shows (What's Happening, anyone?), the NRA, and of course Tammy Faye Baker, you absolutely cannot do without her. Enjoy your random mix of advertisements.

Note to anyone living in Madison, WI: If you do not go see the Super Eights at Mickey's on Saturday night, you lead a sad life indeed. Come on! All their songs are about states! Who doesn't love that?

*I actually wanted to title this post "F***ing with Gmail's mind," but I like to stay kid friendly.

"Love" Life

I've been thinking about what my blog is missing and I've decided that it needs a litte romance and intrigue. So I've decided to tell you all about what is going on in my "love" life. It will be so exciting I promise and I really think it will keep readers coming back for more. They won't be able to wait for the next installment and will practically sell their soul to know what happens. I will be like the blog version of Dynasty, complete with shoulder pads, feathered hair, and cat fights in lily ponds.

Here are the candidates for my love interest so far.

1. Dish Boy
I went to a football party on Sunday night and there I met Dish Boy, who I have decided is crush worthy. It is so rare that I meet anyone who I would deem crush worthy, but Dish Boy managed to squeak ahead into that category due to several factors. First of all he understood and laughed at my jokes. Second, he had a few of his own that were quite amusing. Third, he made good eye contact. Last, but not least, he helped clean up after the party and even washed the host's dishes! I helped him dry (I know I'm shameless). That is why I have nicknamed him Dish Boy, for lack of a better one. Don't you completely think that is crushworthy.

I didn't get his number or anything like that, but once I infiltrate his circle of friends I'm sure he'll totally fall in love me. It totally works like that right?

[DELETED]

Ok, so maybe I should just get a life instead of trying to write about my love life or lack thereof. I will keep you informed of any updates in either of these situations.

The Blizzard of '05

Have no fear, I have survived the great Blizzard of '05. Not only have I survived that, I have also survived many conversations starting with "You are probably too young to remember the Blizzard of '78." To which I respond, "If you by 'too young to remember' you mean 'not alive.' Then yes, I was too young to remember." I find it funny that people refer to storms in this way because in Wisconsin you would pretty much refer to snow storms by the day of the week. Such as, "I remember that great storm of last Tuesday. There was three feet of snow and today we only have two feet." See, this blizzard is kid stuff.

The snow has made things a lot of fun. Yesterday I was outside (yes Mom, I know to my own peril) and I was walking down a side walk which had about one foot of space shoveled out and the snow was up to my waist. There are very few times in your life when you can feel like an artic explorer. Also, I don't need to use the blinds in my ground floor apartment anymore because the snow has pretty much covered my windows. I made the brave trek into work this morning only to find that there are about three people here and we pretty much have a snow day. Yeah, I'll be leaving early.

I plan to take pictures of the winter wonderland as soon as I get a disposable camera. So hopefully I will be able to share with you the wonderful winter wonderland that Boston has become.

I am a Genius!!

I've finally figured out how to put links in my sidebar. It is a wonderful day indeed. Feel free to peruse some of the sites I spend most of my work day slacking off on. Enjoy!

T-shirt = Love

I think anyone who knows me will agree with me when I say I love t-shirts. T-shirts are comfortable, they go with everything, and with a little imagination can be worn to any occasion. I have been told that I wear a t-shirt and jeans every day (Although, I happen to disagree with this statement, since I can often be found wearing skirts or the occasional sweater). The are also certain items of clothing known as "Shelly Shirts." As in "Hey, that's a real Shelly Shirt." (Again not exactly a description I would choose to use since many "Shelly Shirts" are t-shirts I would not choose to wear). Perhaps this is why I love Preshrunk, a blog that is devoted to the art of the t-shirt. I already have a Vespa t-shirt.

In the immortal words of Charlie Brown "Arrrrrrrgh!"

I haven't had too much luck with dealing with other companies lately. It seems that customer service really doesn't exist anymore or that we now live in a communist state where we have to wait hours, if not days, for service of any kind. Here is one interaction that I had with a electronics company yesterday. Keep in mind while you are reading this that I had a very difficult time even ordering an item from them a month ago:

Me (after being on hold for 15 minutes): Hi, I wanted to check the status of an order I made on December 17.
Them: Um... let's see. Um... what's your order number?
Me: 8273
Them: Ok, Brian Crabtree?
Me: No
Them: Oh, well, um, let me transfer you to someone else.

I was then put on hold for another 15 minutes while the most annoying song played on the other end of the phone. It was basically a 5th rate Backstreet Boys rip off with the name of the company insterted where the word "baby" should have been. Think of the episode of South Park where Cartman forms the Christian rock band with Token and Butters and Cartman takes pop songs and changes all the "babys" to "Jesus." Funny in cartoon form, not so funny when you are on hold and already fustrated.

Finally the phone rings.

Them: Hi, we are unable to take your call right now. Please leave a message and we will get back to you.
Me: Hi, I'm calling because you seem to have majorly screwed up an order that I made a month ago and should have received 3 weeks ago. I would really like to talk to a real live person and not have to listen to that horrible song anymore while I am on hold. I mean is it really so hard to pipe in classical music? I think it might be a good idea for the sanity of your customers. And, while we are on the subject of your customers, could you please find some way to provide them with some sort of service. I've had a very difficult time dealing with your website and with people on the phone, that is if I am lucky enough to actually speak with a live individual. I know that you probably won't want to call me back after this, but please do, because all I really want is to order a product from you. Is that so wrong?

No, I haven't heard from them yet.

Two things I know almost nothing about: computers and cars

I received a new computer at work today and I cannot tell you how excited I am. After weeks of empty promises I finally got it. It is like Christmas! When I first started working here I was very disappointed to learn that I would be using Mac with OS 9 when for the past two years I had used OS 10. The downgrade was very hard to adjust to. It's like being forced to drive a minivan after you've had some little sporty Mercedes. I feel like I can actually breathe, not to mention spell check my posts. Needless to say I haven't really done much today except play around with my new computer. If it was a car I would definitely risk life and limb by driving around Boston to show it off.

"Hey homeboy, got some squares?"

This was a question posed to a co-worker of mine this morning on his way to work. Most of the day was spent trying to figure out what exactly "squares" are (besides us in the office). He asked me what they are, because I am "young and hip to what the young kids are doing." [DELETED] The general consensus was LSD (Who the hell goes around asking for LSD?), until I suggested consulting the Urban Dictionary. So what are "squares?" Cigarettes, duh. And I totally knew that all along. I just wanted to watch everyone else squirm. No, really I did. Oh, shut up.

I want a penguin!

I went to the New England Aquarium today and now all I really want for Christmas next year is a penguin.


Aren't they cute little suckers? 

A Face Only a Mother Could Love

Looking over some recently developed pictures with my Mother over Christmas we came across something so terrible I don't think I will be able to talk about it. It was well, a really horrible picture of me. And I mean horrible. I was ready to sign up for the next season of The Swan. The lighting was terrible and cast such an unfortunate shadow that it looked like I had a booty that even J. Lo would be ashamed of. Not only that, the angle made me look really short and just plain hideous. "Yee," Mom said, then added without hesitation "Rip that up before anyone else sees it." The negatives were disposed of shortly thereafter.

Let's Get Our Priorites Straight

Watching red carpet coverage of the People's Choice Awards on Entertainment Tonight made me physically ill. As I am sure you all know by now, Hollywood's Golden Couple Brad and Jen are now separated. Sad, but true. I am just as interested in this juicy piece of gossip as the next person. However, I don't particularly care what Annette O'Toole thinks about their separation or Jennifer Garner or Duncan Clarke. This was the only question ET asked people on the red carpet at the People's Choice Awards. Most of the stars answered that they had no comment and were sorry for them. Come on! Let's stick to the important stuff like "Who are you wearing?" If I were a star at the People's Choice awards I would have reminded ET, in the most diva-ish of terms, what the night is all about: me, my stylist, and my award. In that order.

Questions from Christmas Vacation

1. Why do mothers feel the only way to show their love for you is by feeding you obscene amounts of food?
2. Why does everyone always want to go to the Essen Haus?
3. A companion question: What is so appeling about drinking out of the same glass as eight other people?
4. Why do I always have to deal with drunk people passed out in my room? (Ok, maybe it isn't always, but once is enough.)
5. Why does my dad wear his hats like Steve Zissou?
6. Why didn't I run into anyone from high school? (Usually the place is crawling with people I went to high school with. Not that I was particularly interested in seeing people from high school, but where did they all go?)

The Spinster Sister

After a long hiatus in Wisconsin, I'm back and ready to cause some trouble. Actually, I'm ready for a nap. Traveling makes me tired. Lots to report from the land 'o cheese. My brother is engaged (Yay!), making me the last unmarried sibling in my family. Since I am the last great white hope of singledom, my family feels compelled to point out that fact at every opprotunity. My gifts from Christmas included, two cooking for one cook books, a game called "Marry, date, or dump," and a grow your own boyfriend. Now, I don't want to sound like I am ranting and raving about being single. I love it. I don't want to be in a relationship at all, but that doesn't mean I want to be singled out (pun intended).