A Face Only a Mother Could Love

Looking over some recently developed pictures with my Mother over Christmas we came across something so terrible I don't think I will be able to talk about it. It was well, a really horrible picture of me. And I mean horrible. I was ready to sign up for the next season of The Swan. The lighting was terrible and cast such an unfortunate shadow that it looked like I had a booty that even J. Lo would be ashamed of. Not only that, the angle made me look really short and just plain hideous. "Yee," Mom said, then added without hesitation "Rip that up before anyone else sees it." The negatives were disposed of shortly thereafter.