Bored as a Gourd

Here's a quiz to make the time tick by a little faster. Faster for me, not for you.

1. How have I been spending my work day so far?
A. Doing actually work (I'll give you a hint it's not this one)
B. Practicing my sexy phone voice
C. Convincing dying 80-year old women that this is not the department of public health and that I understand they need a flu shot, I just have no way of providing them
D. Attempting to distract coworkers from their duties and regale them with stories from my days as a steamboat captain