Kansas, as bigoted as you think

Some highlights from my trip to visit my brother and sister in Kansas:

1. Dancing a jig to "Bohemian Rhapsody (not Rap City as I used to think in my younger days, also known as yesterday)" because everyone head bangs

2. Cheap vintage clothing leads to an obsession with terry cloth shirts

3. The best vintage find since my casino sweater, a 40s era silk shirt with the name "Shirley" written all over it for $5. When I saw it I said "Well Shirley, looks like your coming home with me."

4. Another new obession, this time with the with the video game "Mappy." There is a reason why you have never heard of it.

5. Rusty's pleading to switch boxes for trivial pursuit, because we were "getting all the easy questions." He ended up winning anyway. Jerk.

6. Comedy of errors, less comedic, more errored, results in loss of CDs.

7. Not a highlight, but just a message to Red: I left a pair of shoes at your house, can you send them to me?

8. Another fantastic thrift store find...drumroll please... a teddy bear holding a heart shaped frame containing the picture of a long haired mulleted and huge Village People mustached man. I like to imagine his wife or girlfriend angrily donating the bear to the Salvation Army.

Make the voices stop!

So I was alone in the elevator in my office building yesterday when I heard a phone ringing. Since I was the only one in the elevator and since I had left my cell phone at home I knew it wasn't me. I thought that Hannibal Lector was hiding in the elevator shaft and his phone was blowing up. I then decided to ignore it until the phone stopped ringing and I heard "Hi, this Mindy from Consolidated Mortgage and I would really like to talk to you about your credit..." What the! My first thought was "Oh no! They've found me!" I then realized that somehow telemarketers have figured out how to call the emergency phone in our elevator. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself.

How do you know when your friend is wasted?

When they send you an email that looks like this:

Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly,Shelly,Shelly, Shelly
Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly,
Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly,
Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly,
Shelly,Shelly, Shelly, Shelly,Shelly, Shelly

Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,
Hello, Hello

The email went on to detail how my friend had spent the last fourteen hours at a barbeque eating and drinking, but mostly drinking. I would have been eating and drinking at the barbeque as well, if I didn't have to travel a thousand miles to get there.

Older and Wiser

So I've learned some things in the past week that I would like to share with you. Listen. You're the one actually still reading, so its your own fault if you don't like it.

1. Never date a boy in a band.

Yes, band guys are hot. Yes, they have nice forearms (ok, I have weird thing about forearms). Yes, they have great taste in music. Yes, they get free drinks when they play a venue. In the end though, they are just dudes like any other dude. The whole Rock Guy=Gods myth, is just that A MYTH. The worst part is once you are done dating you can never go to one of their shows ever again without looking like a stalker. It sucks, but only if their band is actually pretty good.

2. Don't try using a fake at the liquor store by my apartment

This really isn't something I have to worry about, but underagers take note. I happened upon a very distraught young man when I got off the T on Monday shouting (yes, shouting and at the top of his lungs no less) into his cell phone that his id got denied. I have no idea why he was shouting so loud, but I was worried that he might take some drastic measures and throw self into oncoming traffic. Oh wait, that's what I had hoped would happen.

3. Do not lean against the vertical poles on the T during rush hour

Again, not one that I have to worry about, but there are some commuters out there who are not as thoughtful as I am. Seriously kids, grab on, stand back, and let others get a piece of the pole. I like to T-Surf as much as the next guy, but not as much as I like not having to worry about weather or not I'm going to land in the lap of the little old woman and her groceries. Also, some of us aren't that tall and do not have the arm span to hold onto the bars above the seats. Okay, enough of me on my soap box.

One quick shout out though to the ballsy woman who called out the pole hogger. You are my new commuting idol. And yes, I have already copyrighted the idea for that reality show.

4. Britney is really not that interesting and has pretty bad skin.

Did anyone else watch Britney and Kevin: Chaotic? I did. One hour of my life just plain gone forever. Seriously UPN, I know that you are still a young network, but I feel kind of offended that you put that show in Veronica Mars' timeslot. And Britney, please do not ever put a camera in my face and ask me what my favorite position is unless you want Mountain Dew poured all over your extensions.

Next Month The Drinks Are On Me

Since my apartment is such a mouse infested, leaky, moldy hole (and I mean that literally) our landlord said we don't have to pay rent next month. Yay! Of course that's the good news. The bad news is that there will be strange men coming in every day for the next few weeks to rip more holes into our floor and replace pipes etc. Does anyone have a comfortable couch?

Attack of the Killer Keys

Unfortunately, my blind date with Mr. McNally did not fair too well. I knew it from the moment I set eyes on the ENORMOUS WAD OF KEYS hanging from his beltloop (Dun da dun!). No, Mr. McNally is not a janitor and therefore has no excuse for having keys dangling from a carabiner on his waist. I tried to ignore them and give the poor guy a chance, but there they always were making jingling noises as he walked, reflecting the light, and just plain being a thorn in my side.

Other offenses included responding to my question of what kind of music he likes by saying "whatever clear channel tells me to" and wearing an altogether horrible shirt. Still nothing could eclipse the KEYS (Dun da dun!).

My Name is Sunday Girl and I am a Lightweight

Hey kids, how ya been? Things have been busy, but unfortunately not very interesting to report to the readers at large. Things are looking up however. Today the office manager took me out to celebrate Administrative Assistant's Day and I had a glass of wine, which affected me more than I would like to admit. I know! What happened to happy-fun-time Sunday Girl who went out every night of the week and never got a hang over? She has gone the way of the dinosaur I am afraid and has been replaced by responsible-old-lady-like Sunday Girl who is in bed by 10:30. *Sigh*

This weekend I'm going out on another blind date set up by one of my co-workers. This time a friend of one of co-worker's fiances (try to say that three times fast) is in town and wants to meet some girls or more specifically me. "Mr. McNally" is supposedly cute and flirty, which I have no problems with. I'm cute and flirtly too! Were perfect for each other! Man, you let a few committed people know you are single and everyone wants to set you up on a date. Not that I mind.

My co-worker was actually somewhat embarassed to ask me if I wanted to go. Mr. McNally apparently asked her if she had any cute friends and she named me (isn't she sweet!). Naturally Mr. McNally wanted to meet me. I'm going out to dinner with my co-worker, her fiance, and Mr. McNally on Friday. Have no fear pets, I will give you a full report.

Lost Weekend

I thought I was having a pretty productive weekend until I realized at 10 pm on Saturday night that I had just spent five hours watching the Gilmore Girls.