Further Proof that I Attract the Crazies

So I don't know what it is. I seem to be a magnet for crazy dudes. Not crazy ladies, just he dudes. Like a beacon I seem to draw them to me. Do I give off some sort of signal that you can only hear if you are crazy? Am I my own personal crazy dude dog whistle? What? Why? And who are these crazy people?

Exhibit A:
On Sunday while waiting for the bus (Yes, the bus) some crazy dude CROSSED THE STREET in order to talk to me. He risked life and limb; dodged cars just to talk to me. Now, normally I would be flattered, but it was dark and no one was around and he kept calling me "sir." There was no one else around so I knew he was talking to me. I deftly avoided him by ducking into a coffee shop right behind me. Maybe I overreacted, but it was dark out and I am still around to tell my tale.

Exhibit B:
I was on the phone with a friend of mine last night detailing all of the crazies that seem to have descended on me like a plague of locusts, when she reminded how every time we hung out there was always some Crazy Crazerson trying to talk to me. There was the weird guy who ran up to me and tried to hug me and tell me he loved me. There are a vast assortment of others weirdoes too numerous to name.

I think that I'm going to ask my doctor next time I go into to get a checkup if I possibly have some sort of strange medical condition emits pheromones that only attract men that have recently been released from asylums.