Creepy T Story #83

Riding the T on a Saturday night can be quite interesting. Continuing on with the theme that I attract weirdos, I think I need to modify that to add that I attract drunk weirdos. On the way to the Paradise last night I got on the train and sat down. Some guy standing across from me slurred something at me, "Sumlurrr scarves." "What? You like my scraf?" "No, thur sim-u-lar." I really didn't want to point out the fact that my scraf is plaid and his was striped. Whatever Mr. Slurry.

On the way home, the train was really crowded. A seat opened up, but it was next to a guy dressed as Santa. I had to weigh my options, sit next to a drunk santa or stand the rest of the way home. My laziness won out (as it usually does) and I sat down. "So what do you want?" drunk Santa slurred. "What?" "You know I have connections I can get you on the good list" "Connections like elves and reindeer?" (I couldn't help myself) "No, my wife! My wife makes the list! Not the elves!" "Ok there Santa, don't get too excited now." "So what do you want" "How about the tall drink of water by the door who isn't dressed as a jolly old elf." Luckily Santa got off pretty quickly. I mean, really what guy in his twenties goes out dressed as Santa? Loser. Lesson learned next time I will just stand.