I would like to extoll the virtues of the wonderful film...

...that is "Mannequin." The movie stars Kim Catrall, a department store mannequin that comes to life, and Andrew McCarthy, the window dresser who loves her. As my sisters will probably tell you this was my favorite movie when I was seven and I insisted on watching it every day. There is oh so much to love about this film, let me count the ways. You have Meshach Taylor as Hollywooooood!, McCathy's coworker who constantly complains about his boyfriend problems. He comes complete with funky 80's sunglasses and tacky, wildly patterned suits. Then there is the ultra hip rival department store that is all decked out in metallic curtains and overly made up mannequins. And of course we cannot forget the high tech editing including star wipes, circle wipes, and square wipes. Why the editor did not win an academy award I will never know.

If you haven't seen the film, here is a quick recap. Kim Catrall was once an Eqyptian Princess who was super smart and was to be married to a gross guy. To escape this fate she somehow gets turned into a mannequin. The opening credits feature a cartoon showing Kim traveling throughout time meeting interesting people. How she does this isn't really covered, but for the rest of the film we are treated to references of the famous people she influenced, pretty much everyone from Michaelangelo to Charles Dickens. Thanks Kim for all of your wonderful contributions to lives.

Cut to modern day (or 1987) where Andrew McCarthy is supporting his art by working at a mannequin making factory. It is here that he makes his masterpiece, the most perfect mannequin man has ever seen. Only it's not a mannequin its Kim Catrall, but we'll get back to that later. Poor Andrew is fired because he spends too much time making/fondling his "masterpieces." On that same day Andrew is also dumped by his girlfriend, who is only worth mentioning because her name is Roxy and she works at the rival department store which has some weird name like Ultimate or Max (ohh, how cutting edge!). Lost and alone Andrew roams the steets are his motorcycle in the rain searching for meaning. He finds it when he sees his mannequin in the window of the department store.

Ok this is taking a long time so I'll make it shorter. Andrew gets a job at said department store where he discovers that Kim can only come to life when they are alone. They spend most of their time dressing in costumes and getting it on atop fur coats. While Andrew sleeps, Kim creates fantastic displays in the store windows and Andrew gets all the credit. In a move that is sure to annoy any feminist watching, Kim doesn't even care. She's just like "Whatever, I don't need credit. I didn't get for the Sistine Chapel either. You think I care about a stupid department store window? All I care about is that my man is happy." (Quick Andrew get her barefoot and pregnant before she travels to 1972 and reads the "Feminine Mystique!") So the rival department store wants to get their hands on Andrew and have him make them beaucoup bucks with his window displays. Joke's on them, it's really Kim who is the kick ass window artist. In the end Andrew and Kim fall in love, she's able to be alive in front of whomever she wants (How?), and they get married in the window of the department store and Hollywoooood! is the bridesmaid. The end.

See wouldn't you watch that every day if you were seven?